Aboue me - 老杨正传

儿子学校布置了一项家庭作业,让他们采访父母任一人并提交采访稿。半睡半醒间接受完采访,最后拿到小杨大作一看,题目竟然是“BIOGRAPHY OF A DAD”——好了,就把这个拿来,作为About Me吧。


“Here lies a man that battled the red light and lost, his last wish was to play soccer in heaven” - a random dad.

Here is a person that is deadly serious when it comes to working, and on the other hand cleans the kitchen by eating everything. Here is a dad that leaves you no mercy when it comes to ping pong, yet he draws sheep poop on his son’s art homework. What kind of person is he? Does he face the computer all day to watch soccer or code some alien things that I have no idea what it says? This biography is about to tell you everything about this.

“I think he is a very quiet shy boy .”- a random person that works with a random dad in SAP.

P.Nathaniel is a hard-working person there is no way around that fact. I would know because I saw him working in his office, and heard the door closing at 10:20. I’ve never seen one sleep so quickly. He can sleep anywhere, on his bed, on my bed, on the plane, on the floor, on a tree, and last but not least in his poor teacher’s classroom, I’ll get to that later. He destroys most people he knows in ping pong, he can score a thirty-yard goal in soccer without breaking a sweat. Oh, did I mention that his favorite book is the Bible, and his favorite song is the all-time classic “Amazing Grace”?

“I think he is a very quiet shy boy.” The people that really know the “shy boy” burst out laughing. - good times in SAP.

“Here lies a man that battled the red light and lost, the reason why he died was that his son didn’t make him a smoothie, so out of pain, and grief he died.” - a random dad trying to persuade his son to make him some smoothie.

If you don’t know my dad’s other side you really don’t know him at all. He cleans up the kitchen by eating everything, draws sheep poop on his son’s homework without him knowing. However, when he was ten he made up this thing called the fifth-grade gangsters, they never took money from the kids, but one of my dad’s friend left a pile of poop in front of their teacher’s doorstep. The next day all of ‘em stood in front of their fellow students and teacher looking like a bunch of idiots.

“From 1 A.M.to 5 A.M he is sleeping, from 6 A.M. to 5:30 P.M. he is a hard-working shy boy, from 5:31 P.M. to 6:15 A.M. he is a crazy dad, from 6:16 P.M. to 10:20 P.M. he is the shy boy again, and then finally he goes to sleep.” - timeline made by a random son, Saturdays and Sundays are not included.

As you can see he is a very serious person when it comes to people who he works with, a crazy person with his friends, and kids. He’s a sucker when it comes to food, and a machine when it comes to coding. He has his own special timeline that is both easy to spot, but at the same time very well hidden. Oh, did I mention he was addicted to video games even though he never played much?

“He is a hardworking, funny, serious, and a lazy person.” - a random mom. All in all my dad is a very interesting person, with his own special timeline, and his crazy love for soccer. He can always make people smile while making them dead silent. He is a weird combination of hardworking, and lazy, serious, and funny. So it really all comes down to your opinion on who he is. Oh, did I mention that his dad’s smelly foot is the first thing he thinks of when I say, Grandfather?


Q: What is your favorite pastime?
A: play soccer or watch soccer

Q: What is one fun story about you that you think everyone will enjoy?
A: My mother in law or your grandmother is a very protective person to her children so one day when I went out of the airport to go visit her she asked me, “who does the laundry in your house?”
I looked at her and said, “the washing machine.”

Q: What is your favorite song?
A: Amazing grace

Q: What is a thing that your parents did to you that you loved?
A: My mother doesn’t want me to play video games, and so every time I play it secretly I fell very good of myself.

Q: What is a life lesson that you learned during your childhood
A: Once I play ping-pong with another boy, the score of last match is 13:20 already, but I managed to win finally with a score of 22:20! Never give up, nothing is impossible.

Q: What’s your favorite book?
A: Bible

Q: Who would you say was your best friend in your childhood and still is your friend?
A: no one

Q: What sport do you like the most?
A: soccer

Q: Who was your role model when you were a kid?
A: no one

Q: Do you like teamwork or do you prefer doing work alone?
A: depends

Q: Do you like to be on the outside more or in the inside?
A: inside

Q: What was one fun experience in your childhood?
A: I organized some boys and pretended that we were gangsters, and one of the boys left a pile of poop in the teacher’s office. We got caught afterward

Q: What did you love doing in your childhood?
A: playing video games

Q: What do you remember most about your mom?
A: She was a beautiful, and a smart person

Q: What do you remember most about your dad?
A: His smelly foot always gets me

Q: What would you say that it will be a good question for me to write a biography of your self?
A: What would you want for me to write on your tombstone?

Q: (The question that he wrote) What would you want for me to write on your tombstone
A: here lies a person that battled with the red light, and died bravely.

Q: How would you feel if I told you that I am going to write a biography of yourself?
A: Because it is my son’s homework, therefore, I am fine with it.